Letter Goodbye
by dreamcloud99
Summary: And then my empty world collapsed." There are no times for regret, only for decisions and plans. Itachi knew this from birth till the end. A letter of reflection that Itachi makes on his life, decisions, and his death. One-shot


A/N: Okay, I know you are all going to hate me for not updating my stories. But I'm getting my concentration back and I have a few ideas that I am playing around with so I hope that will fend off most of your anger! :) Anyways this actually isn't a new piece of work, this was from several months back when I read the manga chapters about the truth about Itachi. I never felt compelled to put it online since it is similar to what the chapters said and could be considered a long summary of the important parts of Naruto. I hope you like it anyways, it is pretty angsty, but I was sort of feeling sad when I wrote this so here is the end result! Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto

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_Family,_

_Friends,_

_Companionship,_

_Will power,_

_Trust,_

_And finally..._

_Love._

_All of those things are a part of life. They surround people everyday. A regular person never really has to think about choosing one over the other. But being a shinobi changes everything._

_Ice will wrap around your heart, your mind will turn numb with the cold. You have no care, no feelings as to what you are doing. Hurting others is all a part of the job. You cause pain to protect yourself and what is close to you._

_Little kids will going around throwing paper kunai and play Ninja. Adults will talk about our accomplishments with pride. We are the protectors of the village and we are serenaded for the work that we do._

_No one truly thinks about what we **do** on the job. They don't think about the fights, the pain, the death, and the terror. Why would they?_

_On the final fight of the Chunnin Exams, people from all over the country come to gawk at children battling each other with the possibility of injury just around the corner. The fight just brings a good show. Only the shinobi would know that these kids were setting themselves up for a future of heartache as they fight for what they believe in._

_The world truly is a cruel place, and we merely hide that fact from the innocent in an illusion that has been set up for centuries. _

_The moment I was born, the ice was already creeping towards me. The Uchiha were famous for their bloodline limit and their prestigious fighting skills. It would only be natural, that I, Uchiha Itachi, the heir to clan, would become an exceptional weapon. _

_From Day One, I was honed to think underneath the underneath, to be devoid of emotion. To care only about the future of the clan. Sadly, that didn't work out as well as the elders had hoped. Always first and foremost of my cares was Sasuke. _

_He was so pure. Innocent and cheerful. He took pride in the clan, in our family, and in me. I can still hear his voice, going "Onii-san, come play with me!". I would always smile so softly at him, Okaa-san would spoil him and Tou-san would make sure that Sasuke wouldn't bother me too much. But in the end, we still loved him._

_But as I grew older, I became more busy with my increasing rank and there was less time to spend at home. That was one of the many mistakes that will throw me on my deathbed today._

_My distance agitated Sasuke. He pushed more and more for my attention and time. It became a routine for me to say that I would play with him some other time. He would pout, his mouth quivering before reigning himself in like a proud Uchiha. Father understood that I had my duties but my absence caused him to focus his attention on my little brother. Mother was kind, but she never was good at hiding sadness._

_And then my empty world collapsed._

_It was a beautiful night in truth. The moon was barely covered by clouds and the stars were bright. How ironic that that turned out to be the night that the Elders came up to me with the proposal of killing off my own clan._

_"We have received word that Uchiha will attack the village."_

_I had slowly turned my head towards them at those words._

_"How resourceful is this info?"_

_"That is not for you to know, boy!"_

_The lady elder had sharply glared at the man. I was their scape goat and they had to be careful to not botch up this chance._

_"Itachi-kun, you know how dangerous and powerful your clan is, they can easily cause a civil war. Konoha would be in danger of attack from enemy villages."_

_"What do you want me to do?"_

_At that, the male elder had smiled, though I could see that it was a smirk. _

_"Simple, keep track of your clan's activities and when things seem to be nearing the end, kill them."_

_"You will be relaying all details to either us, Danzo, or the Sandaime."_

_I had merely closed my eyes, turning my head towards the quiet forest. I knew that my life would never be easy, being born into such a proud and arrogant clan. My path was meant to be cruel and I would die a sad death. Even so, I wanted to accomplish something in my time, I loved this village and I would do anything for it._

_"I will keep Uchiha in line, but don't expect me to be your little puppet. Please leave."_

_Long after the elders had left, I had taken a shuddering breath and let myself go. It was one of the few times in my life that I had let myself be ruled by my emotions. Entering the Forest of Death, I'd lashed out in fury, killing the fearsome creatures and uprooting trees. I would soon become a killer, the destroyer of my family and a villain, and all of this for the simple love of Konohagakure and her innocents._

_I knew that the elders would see this as a victory, think that I was just another pawn in a chess game that they alone controlled. I didn't care, I would sacrifice everything._

_The days that had past by afterwards had been difficult. As if sensing my stress, Sasuke worriedly asked if I was okay and if I wanted to practice with him to relax. I declined each offer of course, and even Father seemed to give me concerned glances after a while. I'd forced more distance between my family and my clan, I didn't want to have conflicting feelings when the time came for me to do the inevitable. I thought it would be better this way; it would be easier for others to hate me, to see me as a monster so that I could learn to accept this fact too._

_But maybe if I had acted differently, maybe just maybe, Sasuke would've been happy now. With his friends and comrades in Konoha, never having Orochimaru breathing down his neck. A weaker Sasuke would've disinterested the Sannin. Though the snake could've easily killed the boy and taken the eyes for his own later, implementing them into another body that he'd take over._

_There is no time for regrets now. I did all of this for my brother, my foolish little brother._

_After spying on the Uchiha for a few months and delivering the details to the Sandaime one day, he'd asked me to stay after for a few minutes._

_"Itachi-kun, are you sure you want to do this."_

_"Hokage-sama, I am willing to do anything for Konoha."_

_"That is what your head reasons right? But what does your heart say?"_

_I'd paused, unsure of how to respond. Of course in my heart I loved my village, but why did it ache then?_

_"It..it loves Konoha and accepts the decision, but it hurts...knowing what I will do."_

_"Itachi, I understand. Even if you are a genius, you are still quite young. You've come to understand death to be a part of life but it isn't always that way, you need to see that. If you feel that killing your own family won't solve our problems, then I can find a way to work with the Uchiha." Sarutobi had smiled kindly at me. He wasn't pushing me into a corner, forcing me to do what I hated._

_"No, this is my clan. An Uchiha should deal with an Uchiha. I would feel uneasy if I did not settle this matter myself."_

_Sarutobi had nodded somberly, "Yes, but it's hard having to see people as young as yourself sacrifice the most precious things for this village. Maybe it's just because this body is getting old, but it seems as if to save a life, you have to destroy so many, it really makes one feel old. You never get used to it."_

_Those had probably been the most accurate words I'd ever heard about our profession. Nobody ever wanted to face that truth. _

_Walking back to the compound, I thought about those precious moments I'd had here and I knew that I couldn't kill Sasuke. Mother and Father, even if they were family, they were adults and adults could cause damage. But Sasuke, he was just a boy, a happy naïve kid. I couldn't kill him. The other children that I didn't knew were probably just as innocent but I couldn't save them all._

_That night, I sent an hawk flying to the Hokage Tower with a message of my conditions on Sasuke's life after I left. While that matter was taken care of, the meeting that I had been postponing would have to be done. I would need the assistance of Uchiha Madara. _

_I'd found him in a forest outside the gates of Konoha. He'd been resting next to an old tree trunk when I'd arrived._

_"So, you finally came Itachi."_

_"Will you assist me in the massacre tomorrow night?"_

_He'd smirked, "I'd been waiting for a way to teach that stubborn clan a lesson."_

_Narrowing my eyes, I spoke, "Even so, you do understand that you are not to touch Sasuke at all, correct?"_

_"Hai, hai. Your precious brother is safe Itachi. My I wonder how he will take your betrayal though?"_

_I'd walked away, listening to his cruel laughter. One day, that was all I'd had left to spend here in Konoha. _

_The very next morning I'd relented to Sasuke's offer of a quick game. We'd gone into the forest where he set up a multitude of traps and tried to defeat me. The game itself had been fast but that last moment with him, smiling and happy, is one of my most treasured memories. The whole entire day was spent interacting with people that I usually would only pass by in greeting, some found my behavior odd. Most just blew it off as Uchiha Itachi in a good mood. _

_At about 5 pm, I'd gone to the Tower to talk with my superiors. I knew that most likely, Danzo and the elders would be irritated with my decision on Sasuke's future._

_"What do you think you are doing by keeping the boy alive?" Danzo had glared at me, daring me to break composure and give him a reason to put me in my place._

_Without waiting for a response, he'd continued, "This is no time for sentimentality, Itachi. You'd agreed to dispose of all of those in your clan. Or are you having...doubts?"_

_"It is not about being sentimental. I was merely thinking about the good of Konoha. If Sasuke is kept alive, with his skill, you can keep the Sharingan that is so dear to this village and cultivate a clan that would fit Konoha's needs." Itachi finished expertly. _

_"Who ever said that we wanted the Sharingan?" This time, the lady elder had spoken the question._

_"Even if Konoha has so many bloodlines, the Sharingan is one of the the three doujutsu. Wouldn't it be a shame to have it die out?"_

_"You yourself would still be alive Itachi-kun."_

_"Ah, but I have no intentions to get involved in a relationship. Besides, being a missing-nin, I would be running away more than I would be running towards love."_

_Danzo had glared hard at me, "Enough. I will not play anymore polite games. You will kill Sasuke, there are no other options."_

_I'd closed my eyes, calming myself. When I'd opened my eyes, Danzo had stepped back in slight apprehension._

_My Sharingan whirling slowly, dangerously, I spoke, "Or else what? I am not playing any games either. I meant what I said. You have nothing to threaten me with, but how do you think the villagers would feel if they knew that their own leaders were planning a whole massacre of one of their own? I told you that first night that I wasn't a puppet. Did you not heed my words?"_

_Gritting his teeth, Danzo had spat, "Why would they believe you?! Even if you are a prodigy, what you said would be traitorous words. Nobody likes a traitor!"_

_"Wouldn't I become a traitor either way? Besides it's like I said, I haven't been seating around idly listening to your orders like a good puppy. In a world of shinobi, you can't trust anybody."_

_"While spying on Uchiha for you, preparing for their deaths by my hand, I was relaying all details to a high colleague of mine who would release the documents to the public should matters spiral out of hand."_

_"We have no reason to believe this nonsense Itachi. Just do as we say and bring the end of that conceited clan of yours!" The male elder had sneered at me. Sadly though, they had played exactly into my hand._

_I never really had told any exact details to Madara, and even if I did I highly doubted that he would come to my rescue. No, my full intention had been for them to confess to their orders and traitorous acts with my Sharingan present. Had they not complied to my wishes, I could use the copying ability of my bloodline to keep a record of what they said. I had threatened to have a Yamanaka examine my mind and to see the truth if they didn't keep Sasuke alive and raise him well. In the end, Sandaime-sama had agreed to my wishes, halting any complaints from the other three._

_After I left the Hokage Tower though, I was confronted by Shisui. Even to this day, I regret killing my best friend. He had always cared about me and he helped me with the pressures of the clan even though he had his own problems._

_Shisui had asked to talk to me, he had led me to a quiet river, a place that we sometimes visited to relax. _

_"Itachi, what's going on?"_

_"What do you mean Shisui?"_

_He'd sighed, "Don't lie to me, you've been acting strange lately. Pushing yourself away from everyone except for today. You even played with the academy kids, something you would never do."_

_"Simple, I am going to kill our clan."_

_Shisui's eyes widened as I pushed him into the river._

_"Why? Itachi you can't!" The fall had been short, but the river was strong. Even as Shisui had struggled to get back to land, I'd put my hands into the seals for the __Suiryūdan no Jutsu. The last thing I saw of him was his eyes, at first pained, then finally relaxing, surrendering to his fate. Those eyes have haunted me ever since._

_Forging a suicide note, I'd sent that to the Konoha Police. A few hours later, after they'd found my best friend's body, I started the massacre. Surrendering to my instincts, I'd worked quickly and tried to make the deaths as painless as possible. Madara had joined me soon after I'd started. All I could see was red and more red. Human beings fell by my hand and I could do nothing. When the time came to deal with my family, I didn't lose momentum. My Mangekyo stopped my parents in their tracks and long after they were dead, I'd stood above them. I'd known Sasuke had been coming, and I'd waited._

_Waited to crush him. _

_That foolish little brother of mine; he's hated me since that day. I made him hate. Forced him to survive, to get stronger and be able to protect himself. I knew I was comdemning him to a life of pain, letting that damnable ice freeze him. But that was all I could do, I couldn't stay and protect him and there were only a few choices to choose from. _

_Despite what people might think, I am human. I am bound by the rules that everyone lives by on this land, no matter how much I stuggle, I cannot escape these binds. All I can do is go around them, push until this body collapses. But never, never will this spirit die._

_Madara would laugh at me now if he knew what I was doing. 'Has your sanity disappeared along with you eyesight, Itachi?' is what he would say. And maybe he would be right, because nobody that kills people for a living can be sane._

_That is why I am immensely indebted to the Kyuubi jinchurriki, Uzumaki Naruto. If it was not for him, I wouldn't know what to do with Sasuke. Even if I wanted to live longer, to protect him like only an older brother could, I am dying and there is nothing I can do about it. _

_Naruto-kun will take my place as Sasuke's brother once I die. He'll save my otouto from drowning in darkness and hate. And he'll save him from Uchiha Madara. _

_When I met Naruto-kun a few days ago in the forest, I'd tried talking to him. It was only natural that the boy verbally lashed out in anger._

_I'd waited till he was done ranting._

_"Naruto-kun, could you weigh Sasuke's life against Konoha?" That's what I said to him, and I couldn't have been more satisfied with his answer._

_"I'd protect Konoha, and find a way to stop Sasuke without killing him!"_

_"I won't bend my words, that's what being a shinobi means to me!"_

_After that, I'd smiled, the boy had spoken with his heart, and he had meant every word he'd said. Discreetly flashing through a few hand signs, I'd poured part of my strength into the boy, quickly applying a seal during his distraction._

_"You have some of my power now. Hopefully, you will never have to use it...goodbye Naruto-kun."_

_No matter what Madara does. No matter how much he taints Sasuke; there is one person that will never give up. That is my secret weapon. That man may know all of my techniques, he may know what I've planned, but he will never understand the feelings of a brother, or a friend. And if you do use that power, well I guess everyone will be in for a suprise._

_ Even in death I will still protect those I care for..._

_ Good luck Naruto-kun, save Sasuke, protect Konoha, destroy Akatsuki._

_ And please don't fail me...._

** - Uchiha Itachi**

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**A/N: So that's the end of my long dramatic one-shot! Tell me what you all think and get ready for a possible new chapter for my stories soon (or just a new story.....)! And thanks to everyone who is patiently waiting as well.

Dreamcloud99


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